I’m certain that if one were to weigh out the differences between getting into the dating pool when one is younger vs when one is a tad bit older, you’d find out the advantageous weight is definitely not in your favor with Age. The pool to pick from is much slimmer. Instead of gorging on nice fat fish that practically jump in your lap, you need to use a higher caliber bait. The fact remains, with age comes physical disadvantages. You aren’t who you were 25 years ago. And that goes for both sexes. But that doesn’t mean either side ever needs to settle.
I’ve found this time around, that one of the advantages that does work for me? My Thank-You-But I-Don’t-Need-This-Shit attitude.
20 some odd years ago, maybe even less time to be perfectly honest, I would have had a lot more patience/stupidity/lack of self-assurance/more of an understanding doormat attitude than I have now. I would have co-signed a lot of bullshit, put up with a lot less honesty, and been that super understanding woman you wanted me to be.
I highlight that, because deep down I probably wasn’t that understanding, but I wanted to be anything but a Bitch. That’s a big button for a lot of women. Please like me, please don’t think I am a Bitch if I say no. Or if I say this is not cool with me. I bit my tongue. Not always, but more than I wanted to. Especially in the early days. You want to cancel plans, I totally understand, because I am that Not-Bitchy Girlfriend. Truthfully, I probably did understand back then. A lot more than other women. It wasn’t so much a front, as it was me being the acquiescing kinda gal that I am. Highly acquiescing. And while I used the word doormat in my description, I can say I was never that. Ever. I was just overly understanding, at times.
Today – I don’t know if it’s a lack of a rush to find someone, or a higher understanding of my own wants and needs, but I have absolutely no qualms pushing to the side those who don’t meet even the most basic of criteria, rules so to speak, of what I am looking for. I think NEXT! is my new Motto.
I know my value. You need to know it too. If you can’t recognize that now, you never will. Age has taught me that. Part of it is confidence. The other part I think has something to do about aging that opens your eyes to what is important and what isn’t. I can only wish I had the confidence back then, that I have now. And truth be told, I’ve always been decently poised. Sure I recognize my weak points, but that doesn’t make less assured.
I’d rather be alone than be disrespected. I’d rather be solo than with a potential partner that can’t see the smallest regards, can be the most needed.
I’m still understanding. It’s in my nature. I’m probably a little more understanding than most, even when it’s not a “me-pleasing-you” kinda moment. If I have interest initially and you have to cancel for a valid reason, I don’t walk. But if I have interest and twice you find a reason to cancel, then the interest is not high enough on your end to have me stick around. Worst yet, if your cancellation is weak, or not even forthcoming until I make mention of it? You’re off the board. Completely. Sure we can still be friends, but let’s not waste each other’s time. In other words: