Big Fish, Little Pond

Big Fish

So the year has started off with a !BANG!, and while at times the stress threatens to bowl me over, my attitude is still pretty good. In fact there are times I am actually a bit surprised at how I am able to bounce back so cheery, like one of those blow-up clowns you punch, all while smiling. Me smiling, — not the clown. Wait, the clown is perpetually smiling. Which reminds me, do they even make those anymore or is that another one of those disappearing things of my youth, like lawn darts?

Although I hesitate to jinx this by saying too much, I’m up for a good promotion at work. I initially hesitated on it, because it’s NEW and it’s a CHANGE and we all know how well I like those words. Change more so than anything. Makes me angsty. The problem is that I’m very good at what I currently do, but I am stagnant in my job. I can do it with my eyes closed. So I have to pick; be a big lazy smug fish in a very small pond, or be that little darting minnow, sucking up knowledge in a vast ocean, while bumping into rocks and things. I like being the smart one. I like knowing exactly what my job entails. But who can argue expanded knowledge?

Interestingly enough, a day after the job was proposed to me I went down the cafeteria and ordered the Chinese food. Included was a fortune cookie, and the fortune read: All things are difficult before they are easy. BINGO! The Gods had spoken to me once again, through food.

I taped that message onto my computer screen to remind me how terrifying and un-learnable my current boring job once seemed to me. It motivates me.

I don’t know, but I think something about this year just feels right. I am not tempting any karma to come my way and prove me wrong. I mean my jaw is sore from the stress crunch of constantly clenching it (work related), and I still haven’t figured out what to do with my free time after work, but overall I still feel this — this, happiness. This feeling of content. I’m busy when I should be, and I have downtime when I should.

As a famous band of my youth once wrote:

So if you’re tired of the same old story

Turn some pages

I’ll be here when you are ready

To roll with the changes.

“I think I’m ready for a change”, said the man before the tornado hit.



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