I find it humorous that people assume with all my activities and actions, I must be constantly on the prowl for a man. Or men. That my being single is really not a choice, but a situation I have been placed in. Or worst yet that I am placating myself about my current happiness. Ironically it’s more often my other single friends who assume all of these things.
I’ve been asked if I am back on any dating sites as if it’s just a matter of time before I go on. I’ve been asked if I am hooking up with my male friends because it’s assumed there must be something going on if a dick and a vagina are in the same room. I recently booked a singles cruise and I’ve had a number of people insinuate that I am there on a man-hunt, or hook-up prowl.
To them I answer, No, No and emphatically NO!
I’m not certain why the masses assume everyone who is single isn’t there by choice. I guess initially because most of us didn’t decide one day, “I hate being in a relationship. I think I would much rather prefer being alone every night. ”, but once there, not everyone is clambering out the door to find another mate. I admit, one of my first raw instincts after my break-up was to quickly couple up. I felt vulnerable and naked in the midst of being single. But with time I saw for me, that the advantages of being single were far outweighing the disadvantages. I settled into my own skin. I found happiness and fulfillment with ME.
Read: I get to put me first. Selfishly.
I get to decide my own vacations based solely on what I enjoy. Same goes for my weekends. I can sleep in or wake up when I want. Napping too. I can snore without being nudged, and take up the whole bed. I don’t have to compromise my wants. If I want a chick-flick, I get a chick-flick. I save tons of money on gifts, because I tend to go overboard on birthdays and holidays. I have zero drama, or conflict. I never fall into the toilet in the middle of the night. If I want the company of a male, I have some great friends who remind how much I do enjoy the opposite sex. And if I don’t want to shave my legs in the winter, damnit I don’t have to!
Sure there are drawbacks, Sex being the first and foremost. But hey, if I wanted casual sex, I suspect it wouldn’t be too damn difficult to obtain. Sometimes loneliness or boredom seep in. That’s probably the biggest drawback. Entertaining myself in the down time, when the social life is at a lull. More often than not I can work my way around that, and when I can’t I just ride it out, knowing that this too shall pass.
So for those of you who worry, wonder, or are simply nosey; This is me selling single. I’m living and loving the product. I’m certain someday someone might come along that makes me rethink this but until then as the words of an icon I love says — “I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.” – Katharine Hepburn