Girl Code

Andy Boot

What if the opportunity to be with someone came at the wrong time, or for that matter the wrong life? What if you felt you were meant to be with someone else, but because of protocol, or timing, or rules, you missed out on that prospect? They were married to someone else. You were involved with someone else. They were dating your friend, or you were attracted to the brother.  Your lives just kept running afoul of one another with availability.

What if Girl Code came into play. Girl Code is simply Chicks before Dicks. Unspoken rules, like You don’t hit on, date or sleep with a friend’s ex without permission. You always take the side of the friend in the break-up, regardless of the issues. And between the ages of 12 and 20, you don’t date the guy your best friend is madly in love with, no matter if everyone knows she will never get him. There is no handbook on Girl Code, it’s just something you are born knowing. Most follow it. Some bitches don’t. 😉

When is it okay to break Girl Code and date someone’s ex? When is it okay to allow a friend to do it? Is there a certain amount of time? Years? Decades? Never? Is it the length of time you date someone that marks them as “Yours for Life”? Men for the most part seem to be okay with their guy friends dating girls they are no longer with. Women? Not so much.

I’ve had friends do it to me. Break Girl Code. I think the issue for me at the times that it happened was based more on the betrayal on the friendship vs. The Guy. It stung. It made the friendship feel less important than the potential for a hook-up. These all happened when I was young because young bitches are more deadly than older ones. In my youth I felt that whatever I touched, had my stamp on it. Like Woody in Toy Story, my name was indelibly written on his boot. Taking an Ex from me, even if I wasn’t playing with him anymore, was treachery. Maybe that was part of the appeal on the girls part. Having a bite of the forbidden fruit. Women I have learned, are a lot more capable of this than men. I have to be honest. I’ve danced along the line. I’ve been that girl who has become between male friends, but hey that gets into the rules of Guy Code, and I don’t worry myself over that. Simply put: Women can be beasts.

A few years back I considered setting up a friend with an ex, because I realized how much they were one another’s type. It was a sex thing for both, and I thought I was okay with it. It never happened, and later I couldn’t help but wonder if it really would have been issue-free for me. He had been pretty major at one time in my life. Maybe the idea of being so free-feeling in thought, wasn’t the same as living it.  Today this isn’t as much of an issue. Maybe it’s a lack of possessiveness. Maybe it’s age. Maybe it’s me realizing that what I had, isn’t what I want back, so go for it. Let my problems of yesterday be your problem of today.

Girl Code


4 thoughts on “Girl Code

  1. I think it would depend on the seriousness of the relationship. I think marriages/engagements = Girl Code Forever lol. But if it was a high school date, or they only dated for a couple of months *shrug* we’re all adults right? Unless it was really ugly. Then that = Girl Code Forever as well. That’s just a way to ruin a friendship. Hoes before Bros.

    • Oh most definitely. I never intended to imply that once branded, branded for life. If a friend dated a guy I had dated twenty years ago, that would be ludicrous for me to assume anything.

    • Reply cut me off. I think it’s silly to assume anyone is hands off just because of a prior encounter either way. But the truth is there is an expected amount of respect between women, and to ignore that is to go against friendship, girl code, whatever you want to call it.

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