I’m on the precipice of a minor funk. My job — the new one is a huge tangled clusterfuck that has me feeling like I’m on a slow moving hamster wheel. Deal with problems, head home, eat poorly because I’m either exhausted or too frustrated to be creative and cook, go to bed, and start over. I know this is just a phase, but it frustrates the hell out of me.
Faire ended a couple of weeks ago, and while I’m grateful for the available free time, I miss the camaraderie of my friends. I live so far from most that it takes this annual gathering for me to get quality time with them. I miss the laughter, and the hugs and the kisses.
Oh the kisses. Faire breeds an interesting group of free-wheeling puckers and an occasional slip of the tongue. I didn’t realize how kiss free my life has been until the kisses ceased. I think in everything about relationships being non-existent, kissing ranks up there in the top five things missed most. A good make-out session totally rocks my world.
That perfect kiss. You know the one. It leaves you breathless for a moment. Your legs get the slightest bit rubbery. Sometimes it can shoot straight to the loins. There is nothing like it.
For me, The Kiss is pretty important. It can take a date that you were fence sitting about and push it over the top, or sadly in some cases it can put the emergency brake on so that you can politely skitter away. I dated a guy who I seemed to have everything in common with, but when the kiss came, it was dry and stiff and unyielding. I knew there was no potential to teach him otherwise. I think sometimes you just know. I couldn’t explain that him, I just didn’t have the heart; so I dodged and weaved the invites for another date for a few days until he got the message. I wonder sometimes if he found a woman who was okay with his approach.
I think there are times that an okay kiss can have potential. You can sense that the person can be taught to loosen up, or follow the lead, until by habit they understand how you like to be kissed. One man I fell deeply in love with gave me a mediocre first kiss, but I pulled him back in for a second one and he immediately got the jist. It saved us.
There was another date I had where he leaned in for a kiss about half way thru and there it was. That perfect kiss. I was sold from that moment on. Yes the right kiss can seal the deal as well as a bad one can break it. Sometimes ending a relationship that wasn’t meant to be, can be torturous knowing that despite all the bad, you’ll never have those incredible kisses again.
I think the worst is the uninvited tongue. The one that comes from someone you didn’t expect, or worse yet want. It’s mouth rape and nothing has me pulling back farther than the intrusive wet tongue being jammed in my mouth like an invited guest.
Well, the neighbors puppies have finally ceased yapping. The very needed cocktail has started to kick in, and the reality is, there won’t be any kisses for me tonite. I’m okay with that, because I like to think the next one is just around the corner, waiting to knock my socks off.