On a side note, away from vacations, sicknesses, or the blues – while at home Monday I got an interesting text. Now I know it might seem I have this habit of reconnecting with exes, but it seriously is the exception and not the norm.
Completely out of the blue and absolutely unexpected The Young One texted me. I almost felt like life was throwing me a very unfair curveball, because in all aspects of life, yesterday was the worst day to randomly reach out to me. I was too exhausted to deal with anything. Had he been any major romance, it might have had my headspace reeling, but fortunately it was just not there for me.
This wasn’t the first time he tried to contact me. He attempted it about six months ago, but at the time I was with a couple of girlfriends, who absolutely forbade me to answer him. They were right of course. You see, his initial exit was quick and without explanation, and while it hadn’t really upset me too much – just not knowing why drove me batshit. The friends felt he didn’t deserve an acknowledgement from me. Of course I was dying to hear his explanation, but truth be told it was probably a booty call on his part, and he would have said whatever he needed to, not the truth. So I followed their lead (with a tiny bit of a fight, I’ll admit it), didn’t acknowledge him and within a day or so I had completely forgotten it.
Monday I was bored and home alone, and had nary a friends hand in sight to knock my phone out of my hands. And you know what? I handled it perfectly. He started off tentatively. Testing the waters I imagine, trying to gauge if I would even respond. I was cool but polite. No chatty bantering. He acknowledged he had texted me a few months back, and that perhaps I didn’t get it, because he never heard back from me. I sort of ignored that part of the text initially.
See I wanted to see how he was going to handle this. Would it be with honesty? Any bets on that one? I pretty much knew he would find a bullshit way around things, but the cold medicine was making me feel bold, so I thought, what the hell – let’s play along.
So I asked, what was up with the disappearing act?
He claimed “I disappeared on him.”
Seriously? Ok, so there is no doubt we were going the bullshit route on this. My mom said it best when she told me the best offense is a good defense. I didn’t want to bicker on details, and he said/she said crap, because when push came to shove I didn’t care that much. The one thing I told him I wanted from the get go was truthfulness, and it was very apparent he couldn’t be about this, so he probably wasn’t going to be honest about a lot of things.
He tried to figure out if I went solo on the trip, which I knew to mean “Are you seeing anyone?” Oh how I could have played games on that. But instead I politely called him out on everything. I reminded him that early on my only rule was no games, and at this stage, he didn’t get answers. I told him I received his message months ago and chose not to respond. I told him I think there is more going on than he is willing to admit, and then reminded him of my blunt tactics, which of course he said he always liked in me.
I’ll give him points on taking the bullets I was sending his way and still attempting to get a foot in the door. Finally it was apparent that there was zero interest on my part and he awkwardly left the conversation. I told him to take care of himself and left it at that. He said for me to stay in touch if I wanted. No thanks.
I thought that would be the end of that, but no joke, as I type this a day later, he is actually ballsy enough to text me again … if his particular persistence was worth anything he would be scoring points. It isn’t. This time I am coldly blunt. I tell him again, his disappearing act was shifty and I can’t remain friends with someone I don’t trust. He quickly shifts gears and states he walked because of the last argument we had, but ahhhh … we never did. I mean we never did. We only dated about four months, and although I can twist your ear in a good debate, I hate to argue. I’ve been in relationships that lasted years that had fewer than five arguments, that’s how much I hate to argue. I told him he had me confused with someone else. He back pedals here and there, and finally concedes he messed up.
Like now the truth will set you free.
Too little, too late I tell him. The trust factor simply isn’t there. Neither are,(nor were) the feelings. That’s why I got over it so quickly. But I kept that part to myself, because I wasn’t feeling that cruel. I know why he was calling, and he knew I knew but ironically in the end?….. I actually almost felt a little bad for him.
I’m betting this time I really don’t hear back from him.